Mar 09 - 10:25 AM: You stink mate! : Joe McBane

So I realize that this blog is called 'Rants and Raves' and that there tend to be a lot more raves than rants, but do I have a rant for you today...

I've been working in pubs for a good while now and have seen all kinds of odd situations, but a new one for me occurred Saturday night. Sometime around 7 ish a group of about 40 people showed up on a pub crawl from one of our neighboring cities. These types of events can be good or bad depending on where you are positioned on their list of stops. We were stop number 8. Not good. To their credit they seemed a bit weary but generally jovial and well behaved. The problem started when one gentleman wandered into the kitchen in hopes of finding a toilet. I sprinted across the pub, saved the cooks and redirected him towards the facilities. That's when I was hit by the initial cloud of toxic flatulence. Nasty, but let's be honest we've all been in a situation where we've been subjected to someone else's unsavory odors. Pretty gross but it soon goes away and we get over it. To be fair to this guy I thought he was trying to find the bathroom.

Well things didn't get any better. Soon the whole bar room was reeking of this guy's stink. People were holding their faces, others trying to eat, doors are being wafted and I was pissed off. Eventually I had to take action. I felt it was necessary to make an announcement over the PA as I wanted people to know that we found it completely offensive and were dealing with it. The announcement went something like this - "will the person in the bar who stinks - you know who you are - take yourself outside to fart. It is totally disgusting and anti social. You STINK. Thanks."

Well everyone in the pub was both appreciative and amused. The guy mercifully left. Problem solved. In all my years I have never had to ask someone to leave for excessive flatulence. Chalk another one up I guess.

Mar 06 - 03:22 PM: There is a raccoon on my couch : Joe McBane

As most of you have heard by now I bought a taxidermied bobcat for the keg race with Lovin' Cup on the 24th of March. Truth be told I looked at a number of different taxidermy disasters before finally landing the bobcat. One of my favorites was a raccoon. A horrible thing with a menacing look on its face, stick like legs and a weird bouffant hair do. I got out bid on ebay for it. Not a big deal I thought when a few days later I managed to score the bobcat.

Just to clarify. I lost it, haven't paid for it and was never in contact with the seller to exchange name and shipping info. Today a box from Alabama showed up. Imagine my surprise when I discovered the raccoon in it. It just doesn't make any sense.

The only clue was a Rochester telephone number under my shipping address. I called it and it went to a Sarah's voicemail. Sarah, who are you and what do you know about this raccoon? I have sent the seller a message. Maybe he can shed some light on this bizarre turn of events.

I will let you know how this mystery develops. In the meantime a raccoon has taken up residence on my office couch.

Feb 27 - 03:54 PM: Help give a bobcat a Lovin' home. : Joe McBane

For those of you who have not heard, we have an event coming up to launch our new beer. Check out the events page of this site for full details.

I am truly excited to try the beer and get the race on. I am just as excited for the forfeit prize. After much bidding I have been able to secure the purchase of a real life full size taxidermied bobcat. The losing team will have to display the bobcat at their bar. Now this isn't just your run of the mill regular feline bobcat mind you. This thing is horrendous. I bought it from some dude in South Dakota. I wasn't aware that people actually lived there. Imagine for a second what a bobcat would look like if it was in the acute stages of rabies, had just been hit by an 18 wheeler and was coming off a week long bender of hard alcohol and illegal street drugs. OK, you're starting to get the picture. Not good, but oh so charming in a hideous sort of way.

Why I hear you ask. Well we needed something to play for in this Keg Race of ours, and this fits the bill perfectly. If Tap and Mallet fails in kicking the McBane's SlyPA keg first, them myself, the employees and you the ever faithful T&M patrons will have to look at this thing for the next year. Now we don't want that do we people? Wouldn't it be much nicer to head on over to Lovin' Cup once in a while, have a chuckle and toast the bobcat with one of their fine beers? That's what I thought.

So now you understand the stakes I ask you to be here on March 24th at 8pm to drink the McBane's SlyPA and send the bobcat to a Lovin' home. Cheers.